What If Happiness Is a Muscle? And You Just Forgot to Work It?

Turner Powers
Mar 17
5 min read

Updated: Apr 7

Ever feel like happiness is just... harder for you? Like no matter what you do, it’s always just out of reach?

I know the feeling. It’s like you're doing everything you're supposed to do, checking all the boxes, but somehow… the happiness just doesn’t show up.

But what if I told you that happiness is not something you just feel, but something you build? Yes, you read that right—happiness is like a muscle. And just like any muscle, if you don’t use it, you lose it. Let me explain.

Happiness Is Like a Muscle—If You Don’t Use It, You Lose It.

Think about it. When we’re born, we’re wired for joy. Babies laugh more than 300 times a day! They’re not burdened by stress, deadlines, or the constant pressure to be “perfect.”

But over time, life starts piling on challenges. Stress, drama, overwhelm, and the never-ending to-do lists begin to crowd our thoughts. Suddenly, joy feels elusive. We forget how to exercise happiness.

We’ve been taught how to lift stress. How to deal with the heavy lifting of life. But no one showed us how to lift joy.

So, what happens when we stop working the muscle of happiness? It weakens. It becomes harder to access. We get stuck in the cycle of “I’ll be happy when…”

But the truth is, happiness doesn’t come when we get the promotion, lose the weight, or buy the house. It comes when we decide to strengthen our happiness muscle every day.

The Science Behind Happiness: Your Brain Has a Set Point.

Here’s where it gets mind-blowing. Science has shown that your brain has a “happiness set point.” This is your natural baseline of happiness. Some of us have a higher set point, and some of us have a lower one, but here’s the amazing part—YOU can change it!

Think of it like strength training for your mind. You can work out your happiness muscle and raise your baseline. Just like you can increase your physical strength, you can also increase your mental strength when it comes to feeling joy, peace, and fulfillment.

How to Start Strengthening Your Happiness Muscle Today.

This isn’t some complex, long-winded process. You don’t need to go on a retreat or spend hours meditating (though both can help). You just need a small, daily shift that starts re-training your brain.

Ready for a mini action step? Here it is:

Try this right now:

Make a list of ONE thing you “get to” do today, instead of saying you “have to.”For example:

“I get to go to work.”
“I get to pay my bills because I have a roof over my head.”
“I get to make dinner for my family.”

By simply shifting from “have to” to “get to,” you’re already rewiring your brain. This tiny action encourages you to see the positives and focus on what you’re grateful for in the present moment.

Here’s the best part: the more you do it, the stronger your happiness muscle becomes.

It’s Not About Perfection; It’s About Practice.

We’ve been conditioned to believe that happiness is something that’s either here or not. We think it’s a destination, something we’ll find once we reach a specific milestone in life.

But happiness isn’t a destination. It’s a practice.

Just like any muscle, if you want it to grow, you have to work it every day. It doesn’t mean you won’t face tough times or days when joy feels far away. But over time, as you keep strengthening your happiness muscle, you’ll begin to notice that it becomes easier to tap into joy—even on the harder days.

Start Small. Grow Big.

I’m not asking you to change everything overnight. Small, simple steps lead to big results. If you want to change your happiness, you’ve got to start by changing your mindset. And it doesn’t need to be complicated. Little shifts in your language, your actions, and your thoughts can have a powerful impact.

Take this example: If you wake up and immediately think, “Ugh, I’m so tired. I have to go to work,” you’re already setting the tone for the day. But if you say, “I get to go to work and contribute to something important today,” that simple shift starts to change your energy. It activates your happiness muscle, and over time, it becomes second nature.

It might feel weird at first, but with practice, it will become a new way of thinking. You’ll start to see life differently, and joy will start to show up more often.

The Power of Daily Gratitude.

A great way to practice building your happiness muscle is through daily gratitude. Taking just a minute each day to acknowledge the things you’re grateful for is like doing a mini workout for your mind.

Here’s a quick exercise:

Every morning or night, write down three things you’re grateful for.
- It can be anything: your morning coffee, a text from a friend, a cozy blanket.
- As you write these things down, feel the joy and appreciation in your heart.

By practicing gratitude, you’re teaching your brain to focus on the positive, which in turn strengthens your happiness muscle.

Consistency Is Key.

Like any workout, consistency is key. The more you practice these small, positive shifts, the stronger your happiness muscle becomes. Eventually, you’ll start to notice that your natural set point of happiness starts to rise.

You’ll be able to handle stress with more ease, experience joy more often, and begin to shift from a mindset of scarcity to one of abundance.

Overcoming Resistance: When Happiness Feels Hard.

Let’s face it: building a new habit isn’t always easy. There will be days when you feel resistance. You might think, “This isn’t working,” or “I don’t feel any different.”

That’s normal. Remember, it takes time to build a new muscle. Some days, it may feel like you’re lifting a heavier weight than others. That’s okay.

The important thing is to keep going. On the hard days, don’t give up on your practice. Even just a little action, like finding one thing you get to do, makes a difference. You’re building strength every time.

Why You Deserve This.

You deserve to feel good. You deserve to experience joy, peace, and happiness—no matter what your circumstances are. And the best part? It doesn’t have to be hard. It doesn’t require perfection or a huge life overhaul.

It just requires small, consistent steps. It requires training your mind to look for the good, to shift your focus from “have to” to “get to,” and to recognize that joy is available right now—if you choose to work for it.

You Can Start Right Now.

So, let me ask you: What is one thing you “get to” do today?

Maybe it’s as simple as taking a moment to breathe and reset. Maybe it’s finding gratitude for something small, like the warmth of your cup of coffee. Whatever it is, it’s time to start working that happiness muscle.

Remember, happiness is a muscle. The more you work it, the stronger it gets. ✨

Turner

✨ Related Posts

📚 References

The Science of Happiness – Lyubomirsky, S. (2008). The How of Happiness: A New Approach to Getting the Life You Want. Penguin Press.
Neuroscience of Positive Emotions – Fredrickson, B. L. (2009). Positivity: Top-Notch Research Reveals the Upward Spiral That Will Change Your Life. Crown Publishing Group.
The Power of Gratitude – Emmons, R. A., & McCullough, M. E. (2003). Counting Blessings Versus Burdens: An Experimental Investigation of Gratitude and Subjective Well-Being in Daily Life. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
Happiness and Set Point Theory – Diener, E., Lucas, R. E., & Scollon, C. N. (2006). Beyond the Hedonic Treadmill: Revising the Adaptation Theory of Well-Being. American Psychologist.
Building Resilience and Mental Strength – Ginsburg, G. S., & Jablow, M. M. (2011). Building Resilience in Children and Teens: Giving Kids Roots and Wings. American Academy of Pediatrics.