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Showing Up: The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober in Life’s Big Moments
- Turner Powers
- Jun 18
- 6 min read
About a month ago, something happened that reminded me exactly why I chose sobriety—and why I keep choosing it every single day.
It wasn’t a planned event. It wasn’t a polished moment. There were no fireworks or headlines. Just an ordinary Sunday morning that quickly turned extraordinary—and in that quiet transformation, I was reminded that this is what freedom feels like.
The Call That Shifted Everything
My sister—my only sibling—was having her first baby. It was a big deal. A huge moment in our family. But logistically, it wasn’t convenient for me to be there.
We had plans to visit the following weekend. My husband and toddler were playing in the living room. We’d mapped out our week, and that trip didn’t fit into the plan. So I told myself what I used to always tell myself:
It’s too hard. It’s too far. I have to go to work.
And deep down, under that story, was the real voice—the one that used to be ruled by alcohol and fear: “You don’t really belong at big life events like that.”
But around 10:30 a.m., something stirred. I called my sponsor. I told her I felt really guilty for not being there—for missing this huge milestone in my sister’s life. I wanted to be the kind of person who showed up, but I wasn’t sure how to make it happen.
She listened like she always does. And then she dropped one of her classic one-liners:
“Why don’t you just go by yourself?”
A Simple Suggestion That Cracked Me Open
It was so simple. So obvious. And yet it felt revolutionary. Because the old version of me—the one that drank to manage emotions, that relied on others to decide what was possible, that was always one step behind her own life—would have never thought of that.
But the sober me? She heard it and thought:
Wait a minute. I can do this.
The Train That Changed My Life (Literally)
Here’s something I don’t often talk about: I get anxious when I drive long distances by myself. I’ve had panic attacks alone in the car. I’ve spiraled. I’ve white-knuckled my way through more highways than I care to admit.
That’s one of the hidden gifts of sobriety—you start learning your real needs. You don’t just push through anymore. You listen.
So instead of driving, I leaned into something that feels safer for me: trains. They give me peace. They let me breathe, journal, snack, rest. They allow me to be without performing.
But here’s the catch—where we live now in a smaller coastal town, there’s only one train a day that goes back to my hometown.
Just one.
And that train was leaving in an hour.
Without Overthinking, I Said Yes to Life
In a flurry of motion, I booked the ticket online, threw clothes in a bag, kissed my baby and husband goodbye, and rushed to the train station. I didn’t have time to second-guess. I just… went.
And here’s the thing:
If I were still drinking, this moment? This decision? This ability to pivot? It never would’ve happened.
The Ghost of Hangovers Past
If I had still been drinking—even a little—I know exactly how that Sunday morning would’ve looked.
I would’ve woken up groggy. Head pounding. Body aching. Maybe still a little drunk from the night before. I would’ve been in that slow-motion survival mode that alcohol demands.
Maybe I would’ve made a joke about how “Auntie duties can wait.” Maybe I would’ve snapped at my husband for no reason. Maybe I would’ve crawled back into bed with a stomach full of regret and shame, telling myself that I’d go next weekend.
And even if I did go next weekend… I would’ve missed it.
Because alcohol doesn’t just numb pain—it numbs possibility. It steals your timing. Your instinct. Your trust in yourself. It delays your life in real-time.
What I Gained by Showing Up Sober
Instead, because I was sober, I got on that train.
And I arrived just a few hours before my niece entered the world.
I got to hold her, fresh and new and magic. I got to look my sister in the eye, both of us tired and emotional and in awe. I got to take photos, bring snacks and coffee, help her find her footing.
I was present. I was clear. I was steady.
And that is what sobriety gives you—not just the absence of chaos, but the presence of everything else.
The Little Things I’ll Never Take for Granted Again
That weekend wasn’t glamorous. It was real. Raw. Perfectly imperfect.
I slept in my childhood bedroom. I drank coffee on the patio. I sat with my parents and had quiet, meaningful conversations. I ran errands for my sister and laughed with the nurses and cried a little bit in the hospital bathroom.
Not because I was overwhelmed. But because I wasn’t.
Because I was so full. So soft. So grateful to be here—fully here—for one of the most important days in my family’s life.
Sobriety Is Not Just About Not Drinking
People misunderstand sobriety. They think it’s about restriction. About rules. About saying no.
But for me? Sobriety is the biggest yes I’ve ever given myself.
Yes to presence. Yes to real connection. Yes to emotional resilience. Yes to clarity, spontaneity, and depth.
Sobriety didn’t limit my life. It expanded it in every direction.
Here’s What Alcohol Really Took From Me
It wasn’t just the chaos or the regret or the hangovers. Yes, those were painful. But what hurts the most looking back?
It’s the small moments. The ones I missed because I was too numb to notice or too checked out to care.
The birthdays where I didn’t call. The holidays where I started a fight. The quiet evenings I turned into storms. The events I didn’t attend (or did and blacked out). The apologies I had to make the next morning.
I thought I was free. But really, I was locked in a loop. I was always chasing peace, but never able to hold onto it.
The Real Flex is Showing Up
Sobriety didn’t make me a superhero. It made me a human.
A present, grounded, loving, responsive human.
It gave me my instincts back. My clarity. My ability to pause and decide instead of react and regret.
It gave me the ability to show up. For others. For myself.
Because the truth is, the real flex isn’t having it all together. It’s not pretending to be perfect. It’s not glossing over your struggles with curated content.
The real flex is choosing to be present, even when it's messy.
Since Getting Sober, I’ve...
Built stronger relationships with my family
Created rituals that nurture my nervous system
Learned to sit with discomfort and not self-destruct
Showed up for my child in ways I used to only imagine
Learned how to be alone without being lonely
Fallen in love with the quiet
Trusted myself to make last-minute decisions
But that train ride? That weekend? That was next-level. A holy reminder of why I do this. Why I choose this.
To the Woman Who’s Sober Curious, or Just Starting Out...
Maybe you’re reading this and wondering what life would feel like without alcohol.
Maybe you’re tired. Overwhelmed. Stuck in the cycle.
Maybe you can’t imagine making a big spontaneous choice like this because you haven’t trusted yourself in years.
I get it. I was there too.
But I promise you this: sobriety will meet you where you are—and it will carry you to where you’re meant to be.
This Is What Freedom Feels Like
Sobriety isn’t loud. It doesn’t always look impressive on Instagram.
But it feels like:
Holding your niece and remembering every detail
Making tea on your childhood porch without guilt
Crying in a hospital bathroom out of love, not shame
Trusting yourself to go when it matters
Looking in the mirror and liking who you see
Sobriety is soft, but fierce. Quiet, but life-altering.
And sometimes? It looks like buying a last-minute train ticket, tossing a few snacks in a bag, and realizing:
This is what freedom really feels like.
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